An Update

I wrote a thousand words a day for six days.

That wasn't bad.

It has now been a week since I've written anything.

That's bad.

But that is reality. And all I can do is push forward. Put this lazy week behind me and get back at it. Keep ignoring the lazy impulses. And tell myself things like "Just because you don't have time to write 1000 words this second at least write something."

It's making it a continuous daily habit that I struggle with. Making sure I do it even if my day sucked, or I have a bunch of errands to run, or I'm going out of town, or the TV is calling.

Here's the thing: I don't like my job. I don't. In fact I stress out every morning because I almost never know what my day will be like until I get there. So on the one hand I should be even more inspired to make my writing happen.

On the other hand I've been down this road before. I put all my eggs in one basket thinking this is it this is what I want to do. And I was very wrong.

So in other words: self doubt, fear of failing, second guessing every thought. Even I want to tell myself to shut up.