One Type of Outlook

There are people that just radiate positivity. They are all rainbows and butterflies and unicorns are real and every day is a gift and being around them automatically makes you and everyone else around a million times happier.

How the hell does someone do that?

I'd love to be a positive person. I'd love to be the type of person that makes others say "She's so fun!" and "she always brings out the best in me" and "she always make the most of any given situation."
Trouble is I am nothing like that.

I assume the worst. In situations and usually in people also. And in myself.

I contemplate every possible outcome of almost every situation. If A happens then X person will be upset but if I do B then Y person just might take it wrong. And what if I can't do C? Then I'll have to do D, E and F and then everyone from A-Z will hate me forever. Am I overthinking this?

Some people can just go for things. They take a chance on others or themselves. They stop all the wondering. They don't dwell on the past or worry about the future. They just live.

Can anyone really change? The fundamental part of what makes them who they are.

Maybe that person who cut in front of me on the highway had a good reason.
Maybe they had an emergency.
Maybe they just had the worst day of their life.
Maybe they didn't mean to.

Maybe they are just a bitch.

Then again, maybe there are already enough positive people. Maybe some people just need to be negative to create some balance in the world. Hey, that's a fairly positive view of things.

2018 - the year of positivity. Oh who am I kidding?

2018 - the year the bitch got shit done.

A long overdue, yet still early post

My writing for the year 2017 basically went out the window.

The year 2017 was just a lot. Lots of bad, but still plenty of good (wedding!). But more than anything just a lot.

And it definitely was not the year I finally got my professional life together.

That's what 2018 is for! (I just see the evil, self-doubting version of myself laughing manically at me right now)

But this is part of the magic of New Years (granted over three weeks away, but with all the holiday stuff coming up, I thought I would write this now). Finding that naïve, but undeniable belief in myself. That no matter how many times I have set a goal and failed miserably, that is no reason I can't try again. And I will keep trying. I will come back, again and again.

Here is my ultimate, New Years and just life in general goal: I will have written and allowed at least 3 people to read a rough draft of my book before I turn 30! (April 5th 2019 btw)

That gives me a year and three months!

Of course I'm hoping to get it done sooner than that. But that is my absolute deadline. By the time I'm 30 I will have written my book!

I have a page full of other New Years goals also. But this is THE ONE. The one I want to be held accountable to.

I find no joy in either job I have right now. I want to feel passionate about what I do. I'm tired of waiting for myself.

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live

Preach.