Why So Sirius?

Every year I re-watch the Harry Potter movies just before my birthday in preparation for my Harry Potter birthday party. And every year I come to the same conclusion. And here it is, my most likely unpopular opinion is...

Prisoner of Azkaban is the WORST Harry Potter film. 

Yep. I said it. It's my opinion. And I know a lot of people will disagree with me. I know in fact that many people say just the opposite. That Prisoner of Azkaban is the best of the Harry Potter movies. And that's what gets me. Is this movie is held in such high regard for a lot of people. And I don't think it should be.

And if I'm being totally honest and fair (and believe me, I'm trying to be) maybe if I could look at it as just a movie maybe I could enjoy it just a little bit more. But I can't look at it as just a movie. And I don't think it should be looked at as just a movie. It is an adaptation. An adaptation that is part of a series of adaptations. Two adaptations were made before this one and four (or five depending on how you look at it) would come after this. This isn't some random, fun kids movie where you can come and make your artistic mark Alfonso!

Being a Harry Potter director, you have a responsibility to honor what has been created before you, what other directors will have to do after you and MOST importantly what J.K. Rowling put on that freaking page! I don't think Alfonso Cuaron respected what he was a part of. And I really think he should have.

So...as I watched it again this year I decided to make a list. A list of all the reasons I have for not liking this movie. Now I will admit SOME of these reasons are me being nit picky. Cause when I start talking about problems with this movie I tend to just go on and on. So perhaps some of these reasons are a little too particular. BUT I will say A LOT of these complaints are real problems. Choices that should NOT have been made. Glaring plot devices left out, out of character choices or actions, but most of all it is a lot of wasted film time. Alfonso added a lot of...color?...to the script. Small little extra scenes or gimmicks that were largely unnecessary. Which makes the fact that he cut out huge plot story lines all the more frustrating. 

So here is my list. And to be fair I also decided to make a list of things I liked about the movie, just to see if they out weighed my complaints. As you can see...they don't. 

Reasons Azkaban was good

1. The Dementors were done well
2. The new cast members were good
3. The costumes got better
4. The kids were getting better
5. The little hints of Harry and Hermione time traveling are pretty good

Reasons Prisoner of Azkaban is a bad movie

1. That stupid Jamaican skull
2. Why would Harry ask Stan who the man on his newspaper is? He didn’t see him on the muggle news like he was supposed to.
3. Why is Tom the bar keeper suddenly a hunchback?
4. Why not show Harry getting the Monster Book of Monsters in the mail? Why not say it’s from Hagrid?
5. Why is Hermione suddenly calling Ron Ronald?
6. Why have the newspaper clip of the Weasley’s in Egypt if you aren’t going to mention that Fudge showed it to Black?  
7. Why on earth does Hogwarts suddenly have a choir?
8. What the fuck did he do to Flitwick?
9. The change of the Fat Lady was really that vital?
10. I would have taught Harry and Seamus that when they try improv to not say the exact same thing.
11. Why was the scene with the boys and the candy that makes them sound like animals in there?
12. Who is that random ass black kid who gets like two different lines? Dean Thomas is RIGHT THERE!!
13. Why does Harry spend what feels like half the movie riding that damn hippogriff. It takes like half a page in the book!
14. Why do they have all their books out in the great hall? It’s not the library!
15. How stupid did they think the audience was? Lupin’s boggart was never explicitly identified as the moon in the beginning, it was an ambiguous orb. Yet they clearly made it look like the moon. Spoon feed it to us guys, kay?
16. Why is Dumbledore pausing to spit out philosophical phrases not even in the book?
17. No mention of Cedric, Cho or the fact that Malfoy’s injury is being faked and that’s why Slytherin isn’t playing.
18. Harry’s moms scream does not sound like a mom screaming for her son. And it doesn’t sound like she is saying Harry.
19. Who is that random kid with Malfoy and Crabbe when they approach Ron and Hermione at the shrieking shack? Cause it sure ain’t goyle
20. There’s no indication of when Lupin is falling ill.
21. They make Hermione act like a whiny bitch in divination. She may not like the subject but Hermione is respectful. But in the film she has bitch face the whole time and gives Trelawney attitude.
22. Why does Harry see Sirius in the damn crystal ball?
23. Hermione’s whole ride on the whomping willow was unnecessary. And why didn’t they have Crookshanks freeze the tree?
24. It doesn’t make sense that Harry knocks Snape out. He’s not powerful enough for that on his own. It’s supposed to be him, ron and hermione combined.
25. That werewolf was riddikulus
26. What’s with the little dot that comes out of Sirius when the dementors are attacking? Is that supposed to be his soul? Read a book!
27. Hermione says they travel back to 7:30pm. The sun would be down by then.
28. There’s supposed to be a lot more drama with Hermione and the boys, especially Ron. But taking out the story line with the Firebolt took away from it. And Ron was not talking to her after Scabbers appears to be eaten.
29. Who are Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs? I mean you saw the movie, you must know who they are right? I mean the movie wouldn’t leave out such a huge and basic plot point right? Right?! RIGHT?!!?!?!?!
30. The final scene with the Firebolt...stupid. Yep, that’s my assessment.

So there you go. That's my rant for the night. Reading it back I'm sure some of it won't be such a big deal to others. But if you are going to defend any of Alfonso's choices please don't let it be #29. Number 29 is my BIGGEST complaint. It is maddening that it is not explained in the film. It hurts me. SIGH........

Okay rant over. Onto Goblet of Fire...

Remembering Yourself

It is easy to blame yourself.

I'm taking a life lesson from the bachelor. That's right, the bachelor. I mean not from Arie himself, he sucks. But from the show.

Every time the bachelor broke up with someone, the girl would say "What did I do wrong?" "What's wrong with me?" They would place the blame on themselves. And for God's sake why?! You did nothing wrong.

It is so easy to recognize your own flaws. To think of all the things you did or didn't do in a relationship. And I'm not strictly speaking about a romantic one. But constantly reliving the past. What if I had done this instead. What if I shouldn't have said that. Maybe if I had talked more or less. 

Enough is enough. Someone not wanting you to be a part of their life is on them.

It is very, very hard for me to not take things personally. To take them to heart. Especially when it is personal. Why should someone else's opinion of you inform your own self worth?

Loving and respecting yourself is important. Especially when someone you thought was a friend doesn't show you the same love and respect. And it is harder to remember to love yourself when someone you care about treats you and your feelings with indifference. Indifference is so much worse than anger. Because they just don't care. Which is a hard pill to swallow when you still do.

So next time someone breaks up with you or ends a friendship with you here is my two cents. Instead of asking yourself "What's wrong with me?" ask them "What the hell is wrong with you?!"