My Life in Numbers

67 Days.

That's how many days until the next school year starts. 67 days to get my shit together.

Priority #1 - Writing

I have lots of plans for this one. Working on a rough draft of a novel. Writing short stories. Writing play scripts. Reading a ton. Writing about what I read. Writing reviews on films and T.V. shows I watch. Writing journal entries. Writing in here. I'm not setting one big specific goal because frankly if I miss it by even a little bit I will get frustrated and possibly quit. Again. So I guess that's my one main goal. Don't quit.

Priority #2- Wedding Planning

158 days to go. Flowers. Suits. Cakes. Dresses. Tables. Music. Chairs. Food. Invites. Opinions. Booze. You get the picture. It's a lot. I'm having fun but also reaching that I'm totally stressed about everything point. And we are still five months away. As long as I look good in my dress. Speaking of...

Priority #3 - Biggest Loser

I am going to lose weight. Period. Maybe after I've lost some, or when I'm feeling braver, or after I've had a few I'll post what my starting number is. Let's just say it's the largest that number has ever been right now. I have a recurring fantasy that I do lose all the weight and post these before and after photos on Facebook. Because social media is validation now apparently.

I'm really into goal setting. At the beginning of May I put up this blue poster board on the wall. All the sticky notes were on the left. As I completed something I moved it to the right. Obviously there was A LOT I didn't complete. I'm trying it again for June.

Thanks for reading!

What a lemon

So for anyone who read my last post and can read a calendar you know that my deadline to finish the rough draft of my book has come and gone. Now the question is, did I do it? Did I finish my draft?

Drum roll please!

No. Not even close. In fact, not only did I not finish a rough draft, I didn't even start one.

2017 came at us like gallons and gallons of lemon juice being poured on someone covered head to toe in paper cuts. And then every time you start to get some of the lemon juice off, they throw some salt on you. (I'm really into cooking shows lately.)

But in all seriousness this year has just been monumentally hard and draining on everyone. So what with one thing and another my writing priorities were not at the forefront of my mind.

But I've got to keep trying. No matter how many more times I fail to meet a goal. I can't stop. This might sound silly, and frankly really cheesy, but I feel like I was meant to do this. Maybe I won't ever be a world famous author. Maybe I won't ever make a living off of my writing. Maybe I'll never get anything published.

But then again, maybe I will.

So onto my goal setting. Bradley and I are currently working on a show at RHP. By the end of May not only will the show be over but so will school. Two months of no work. And yes there are several outings planned and lots of wedding planning to do. But two months with no job. Except I'm saying that I do have a job. Two months of writing. Serious, treat it like it's a job job writing. I don't know that I'll be able to get a rough draft done in two months, but I should be able to get a pretty good start.

And there you have it. A brief update on my writing plans. Thanks for reading.

2017

And 2017 has arrived!

My goal to finish my rough draft by the end of 2016 definitely did not happen. I'm disappointed in myself.

But what's done is done. Or what's not done is done. That doesn't mean I stop trying. It just means it's time for a new goal, a new deadline.

I wrote out a bunch of New Year's resolutions. Like I always do. And I'm not naive enough to think that I'll stick with all of them. I am hopeful for some of them. But in this blog I'm only concerned with one of them.

And here it is...

My rough draft will be done BEFORE I turn 28.

By April of this year my rough draft will be done. I'm not entirely sure if I want to stick with the same story I was working on. To be honest I haven't written anything for it since October. Maybe I'll start a new story. But whether it's the same story or a new one I will have a rough draft in three months. A tall order. But a possible one.

I know that anyone who reads this blog has their own life and in the grand scheme of things doesn't really care if I meet this goal or not. But there's something about declaring the goal for other people to know it that makes me feel more accountable.

Alright 2017. Let's do this!

A Detour

It has been a month since I've written.

Now I know this is a big oops. Like I have no excuse. I mean yes I got engaged(!) this month. And yes I have jumped right into wedding planning mode. I mean I already have my dress for crying out loud.

But I shouldn't have let my writing take the sidelines for so long. I had all these ambitious plans for November. It's NaNo writing month after all. But it didn't happen.

That's okay though. Today is December 3rd and I can still get plenty of writing done before the end of the year. Now there is the danger of finding myself distracted by every holiday thing, not to mention more wedding planning and my general self sabotaging habits.

But I'm still going. I'm still aiming high. My goal was to have a rough draft of my book by the end of the year. Now skipping a whole month of writing is definitely a set back. But I don't want that set back to lead to another one. My goal is the same. I just need to work extra hard to get to it. And I never had any intention of having a perfectly polished story by the end of the year. I'm prepared for it to be total crap.

It just needs to be finished total crap.

11,000

I have just passed 11,000 words.

It's a lot of crap. I keep changing my mind about things as I am writing. Half my sentences probably don't work. My narrative voice keeps changing. It's lots and lots of crap.

But the point is it's lots.

I'm not sure that I have ever gotten this far in a story before. And I can already tell there will be several rewrites before I'm anywhere near ready to let someone else give me feedback.

But I'm getting it down. The bare bones of a story is getting put to paper. And it is very possible I won't like it at all. And I can already imagine some of the rewrites. But I'm not going to stop and go back and second guess. I'm gonna get it down.

I wish it rained in Southern California more often. It may be one of the biggest cliches ever but raining is perfect writing weather.

I can almost pretend it's six years ago, and I'm in the Star bucks on Great Russel Street, less than a minute walk from the British Museum.

Almost.

An Update

I wrote a thousand words a day for six days.

That wasn't bad.

It has now been a week since I've written anything.

That's bad.

But that is reality. And all I can do is push forward. Put this lazy week behind me and get back at it. Keep ignoring the lazy impulses. And tell myself things like "Just because you don't have time to write 1000 words this second at least write something."

It's making it a continuous daily habit that I struggle with. Making sure I do it even if my day sucked, or I have a bunch of errands to run, or I'm going out of town, or the TV is calling.

Here's the thing: I don't like my job. I don't. In fact I stress out every morning because I almost never know what my day will be like until I get there. So on the one hand I should be even more inspired to make my writing happen.

On the other hand I've been down this road before. I put all my eggs in one basket thinking this is it this is what I want to do. And I was very wrong.

So in other words: self doubt, fear of failing, second guessing every thought. Even I want to tell myself to shut up.

Let the Actual Writing Begin.

And Day 1 is check

As in today I wrote 1,000 words. Actually I wrote over 1,200 words. But the point is I wrote. 1,000 words. With my end game for this calendar year being a rough draft of a book 1,000 words a day is my goal attaining method.

I don't really have much else to say. Except that I am hopeful to keep saying I have written 1,000 words a day. Goals are so easy to come up with and such pains in the ass to stick with.

Also, on a personal side note, thank you to all who read my last blog post. It was not a story I ever imagined sharing and I really appreciate all the positive feedback.

So like I said Day 1 is check. We'll see how Day 2 goes.