Vegas or bust.

I've started school. It's been awhile since I was in a classroom. But I'm kind of excited. I don't know exactly how long it will be until I'm ready to apply for grad school but I definitely think that's where I'm headed. 

I am worried now that I'm in school I will be writing less. And reading for fun less. I hope not. I want to keep practicing. 

I'm going to Vegas this weekend. It will be the first time I've been to Vegas since I turned 21. Last chance to blow off some steam before school really takes over. 

Another small update but a small bit of writing is better than nothing. 

Vegas here I come!!!

Motivation

I am having a really hard time staying motivated. I will go through a couple of days where I have all this energy and want to get everything done at once and then I just seem to crash. Today I literally did nothing productive. I stayed in pajamas all day and watched TV. That's it.

And the thing is I know I'm wasting time. It would be one thing if I was being super productive five or six days out of the week and then gave myself a lazy day. But even on days that I have work I feel like that's all I do. As soon as work is over I just shut down. Which is ridiculous cause I only work five hour shifts four days a week.

It's not always like this. Like I said when I get myself in gear I can get a lot done. I can be focused and productive. I can get chores done, writing, reading I can get my butt to the gym. What I lack is consistency. That self discipline to keep at it. To not let myself get in a slump.

I suppose today was just an off day. Tomorrow hopefully will be a different story.

P.S. I spend an embarrassing amount of time googling ways to stay motivated. Any suggestions out there?

The Distance Between Lost and Found

I recently just finished a book entitled The Distance Between Lost and Found. It was a decent book. It's about three teenagers who are on a youth retreat but they get separated from the group and end up stuck out in the woods for almost a week. While they are out in the woods they discover a lot about themselves and each other. The main girl Hallie is struggling to accept the realities of what happened between her and a boy at school and the rumors going around about her. They talk a lot about God and faith while they are out there and though it was a bit much for me it was still written well.

When I think about what I want to write I'm constantly torn. I love Harry Potter which is a series in genre fiction. However, most publishers are much more interested in stand alone realistic novels these days like The Fault in Our Stars. So then I think should I go that way?

But then there are times when I'm really against forming my writing for what is publishable right now. I should right what I want to write. Because let's face it even if I do manage to complete a manuscript and send it off in the hopes of an agent or publisher being interested I need to prepare myself for a lot of No's. And that's okay. The point is to write. And be happy with it.

I'm thinking I may try and stick with the lost princess idea I have going. That kind of story for me is fun to write. I may not always do it in an order that makes sense. I may even write the conclusion before a lot of the middle part. That may be a little frustrating to read but I know right now I just need to make sure I'm constantly writing. I'm starting school soon and I know that's going to effect how much time I can devote to everything else.

Oh I also read a graphic novel called The Undertaking of Lily Chen. It was only the second graphic novel I've ever read. It was really pretty. I'm not quite sure if that genre is really for me. I think I still prefer to find the details in the words rather than the pictures. But I'm glad I read it.

The lost princess

The story of how the lost princess came to be lost was one that was told in a variety of different ways. Some swore that a rogue Knight to the queen who had suddenly sworn allegiance to a neighboring kingdom kidnapped the child so the kingdom would fall to ruin without their true heir. Some say that it was a conspiracy within the royal family. That it was merely a publicity stunt and the Queen knew all along where her daughter was. Some denied that there ever was a princess and that the kingdom was searching for no one. What the true story was varied based on who you asked.

Quinn was whole-heartedly convinced that there was a princess. He believed the Queen's story that her daughter had been taken from her and she had no idea where she had been taken. He believed this because his father believed it. His father had served in Her Majesty's guard from the time he was old enough to join until his dying day some twenty years ago. Quinn's father believed in the crown. He had instilled in Quinn the importance of serving something much greater than himself. He taught Quinn that there was nothing so important as protecting the royal family.

The day the young princess was taken was a dark day not only for the Royal family but the entire kingdom. Quinn did not see his father for weeks following the kidnapping. Every member of the royal guard had been called upon to search the entire kingdom and beyond it. They searched day and night barely sleeping. The search went on for days, weeks and months. Eventually the Royal family had to agree that the kingdom had to continue on. And that the kingdom needed the Royal family to get back to their royal duties. So the continual searching had to come to an end.

There were however, a few select members of the royal guard whose sole duty was to continue the search for the missing princess. However feeble a lead they found, however pointless their search may have appeared to some it was their sworn duty to find the lost princess and return her to her mother the Queen. So she would be able to take her place on the throne and one day be the kingdom's true leader. Quinn's father was one of those men who spent day after day looking for the princess. He died never knowing if she would one day be found.

Though Quinn had been only seven when his father had passed away he had spent the twenty years that followed in the company of the Queen's guard. He and his mother were cared for and looked after by the Royal family for that was the promise they made to the family of a guard member. They lived on the West end of the palace where many of the guard and their families were housed. And when Quinn came of age he immediately followed in his father's footsteps and became a member of the guard himself.

Now after all he had been through. After all his father had been through. Here she was. The princess. The lost princess lost no more.

My initial idea

A queen?! Her?!

This had to be a joke. She was no queen. Queens wore clean, pretty dresses. They walked upright and spoke softly. Their hair was always perfect, they danced at fancy balls and always had just the right amount of make-up on. Queens were elegant. They had poise and respectability. They always had some handsome prince or duke or king on their arm. Or at least some high ranking diplomat.

She, Riley was no queen. She had dirt under her fingernails. Her clothes were worn and faded. She couldn't walk more than five feet without tripping over something. She was loud and outspoken. Her hair was always flying loose or up in a messy bun. She was not elegant. She had no poise. No respectability.  And definitely no fancy looking man on her arm.

And yet here was this man, some uptight member of the royal guard, telling her that she Riley "Tomboy" Morgan was a queen.

This guy was clearly high on something.

****

This was her? This was the long lost queen he had dedicated his whole life to find, serve and protect? He had trained his whole life to serve in the Queen's royal guard. Just like his father had and his father before him.

Their kingdom had been searching for their long lost princess for nearly twenty years. Searching for her had been his life's purpose. Find her and protect her. Protect the heir to the royal throne. That was the mission of the royal guard. That was his mission.

He had always imagined his queen to be delicate and upstanding. She would be smart and soft spoken. Beautiful, clean and elegant. She would be wise beyond her years. Powerful. The voice of the kingdom. He had expected a woman worthy of the crown.

Not this child.

A Little Progress

 Writing is scary. It just feels like such a gargantuan task. How do you start? Where do you start? If you are writing a book do you do an outline first? Or do you just write and hope that at some point it all comes together?

And how much writing a day should you actually be doing if you are serious about it? Should you focus on just one story and stick with? Or should you have three or four stories going and write for the one you feel inspired by that day?

Some days I feel focused and on task. I feel as if no matter how slow my progress is the fact that any progress is being made is good enough. Then other days I feel like I'm wasting my time. That I'm doing a lot of writing about writing and not actually writing anything.

If I do write a book I want my main character to be a girl. A girl who is a strong female character. One that if young female readers are reading about her they feel inspired to be strong and independent. And if there is a love story it will NOT be the main focus. She can have a love interest sure. But I want her to be the driving force of a much bigger story. I don't want young girls to only have books that highlight love triangles and abusive relationships.

That being said I have read Twilight and Fifty Shades. And I enjoyed reading both. I don't think it's bad that those books were written. Those just aren't the books I want to write.

I definitely lean more towards genre fiction rather than realistic fiction.

Okay, so female lead in a genre fiction young adult novel. That's more progress than I had made this morning.

New Years in August

I just read through several old journals. And in doing so I have come to some conclusions. 1) I buy way too many journals and never fill them. 2) My New Years resolutions are remarkably similar year after year. 3) And most importantly I think, in general I have become much happier with who I am as a person than I have been in a very long time. 

Sure I have issues with myself. Who doesn't? But just looking at my past entries and seeing what my priorities were then and what they are now I feel good about where I'm headed. Or hopefully headed. 

That being said I think it's time some of those New Years resolutions got checked off the list. New Years is actually my favorite holiday. I love the feeling of starting over with a clean slate. I always feel like anything is possible. 

So why should I wait another 5 months to feel like I can set some new goals for myself? Why can't August 1st be my own personal New Years? Yeah why not?! I answer myself. Why not indeed!

And so my August 1st 2015 resolutions are :

1) Finish a story

I think this is the best way to put it. Promising to write everyday is frankly setting myself up for disappointment. And saying I will finish writing a book seems like putting the cart before the horse. So by the end of the year I will have finished a story. How long or short it's going to be I'm not going to say. Longer than a typical journal entry let's put it that way. 

2) 6 new books. 

That's how many new books I want to read by the end of the year. I usually hate giving myself a goal with a number. What if I don't reach it? But I think this is pretty realistic. 

3) Weigh less than I do now. 

Okay I know losing weight is the most cliche of all New Years goals. But I guess there is a reason for it. And I have given myself a relatively easy goal. I don't think giving myself a goal weight is a good idea. I just want to get smaller. 

4) Do something or go somewhere I have never been before.

I think this goal explains itself in the title. 

I think that's enough for now. Four goals to focus on for the next five months. Happy New Years everyone!