Fantasia

No I have not forgotten about this writing project. And I'm not giving up on it. I get into slumps in my writing. But that doesn't mean I just stop. So...




Walt Disney's Fantasia. Disney's third animated feature film. This film is filled with beautiful instrumental music, accompanied by wonderfully imaginative animation. It showcases such classic creatures as dinosaurs, the mighty Zeus and even Mickey Mouse himself. It even inspired Disney's long running and much beloved show Fantasmic! It is also one of the most boring films Disney has ever produced.

My apologies to those who disagree. If you revere Fantasia as a great Disney classic much beloved by you and your family since childhood I have no intentions to take that away. I'm not trying to convince anyone not to like this film. I just don't understand how anyone can.

Fantasia tells five different stories or "segments" through animation set to classical music. Now while the result may be beautiful to watch and to listen to it's not exactly thrilling. The last two films Disney released had songs you could sing along with, villains who could cackle and threaten and characters with names. The colorful personalities of the characters were key elements that drew the attention of young children. The fact that Fantasia has no dialogue makes me wonder how many kids actually sat through the whole two hours.

Not to mention the fact that in between the segments the audience is shown the orchestra and given an explanation of what is about to be shown to them. I can only assume this is for the adults. Because I can't imagine children were all that enthralled by long winded explanations filled with names of composers they had no idea who they were, all told in a monotone voice. Of course I could be wrong. I'm just guessing.

I saw Fantasia a long time ago. I'm not quite sure how old I was. The only story I really remembered was the sorcerer's apprentice. And I'm pretty sure that's what most people remember. Especially since parts of it are shown in Fantasmic! and the image of Mickey wearing the sorcerer's hat is used for many different adds and visual displays. Mickey Mouse is memorable. And certain images and various moments from the segments came back to me as I watched. And while I think I can better appreciate how beautiful the animation is I don't feel I was any more entertained as an adult than I was as a child.

I don't know maybe I'm just missing the appeal. Maybe it's a bit over my head. Maybe I saw it at the wrong time. Or I just don't have the attention span for it.

I will say I love Fantasmic! and am grateful for the inspiration the film provided.

But overall not one of my favorites.

My rating of the film: 4/10

Films in order of preference so far:

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Pinocchio
Fantasia

Going Public

It will be done.

That's what I'm telling all of you. It will happen.

I. will. write.

I've always wanted to be a writer. But my motivation has been so lack luster. Over the past year or so I feel like I've gotten lazier and lazier. Excuse after excuse.

It's just so frustrating. I used to have more ambition and drive then I knew what to do with. There was never enough for me to be doing, always a job or project that I had to tackle. Now if I watch less than five hours of TV a day it's a miracle.

I started looking through articles and blogs about being motivated. And one piece of advice struck a chord with me. It suggested announcing your goal to friends and family. That going public with your goal adds a certain amount of pressure to be sure to get it done. No one wants to look bad publicly. So saying I am going to get something done aloud to other people adds a certain level of motivation to get it done.

Now I've done that before a couple of times and it hasn't always worked out. But I can live with my failures in the past. I've always been afraid of failing. But I've done it before. And I survived. The world didn't end. And here I am. Trying again.

So here is my goal: Have a rough draft of a book done by December 31st 2016 11:59PM.

Yes. I'm setting a deadline. Now this could be accomplished in many different ways. Writing a certain number of words a day. Writing a certain number of hours a day. So many chapters a week. Outlining the story and set dates to reach certain parts of the story. And I may try a couple of these strategies. I've tried some of them already.

But I have a goal. I plan on starting on Sept 1st. One because I like the idea of starting something at the beginning of a frame of time. Two it gives me some time to make a plan of attack. I'm also planning on writing in this blog about once week with a progress update.

That being said any words of inspiration and encouragement would be appreciated :)

It is a little humiliating knowing I've tried this kind of thing before. Many times in fact. And it hasn't ever worked out. I've had many doubts about my abilities. Constant unrealistic comparisons between myself and other people. Being bombarded with the best versions of other people thanks to social media. Not to mention we live in a world with Netflix! Who can get anything done?!

But I'm saying it is going to happen. New Year's Eve will have a rough draft done. And I'll be starting my New Year's Resolutions with thoughts of editing and publishing and writing new stories.

It. will. happen.

Let the countdown begin...

Pinocchio

Now I'm going to honest here, I've never like Pinocchio. I saw the film when I was young and I don't remember enjoying it. I re-watched it as an adult and that is still the case.

I also recently read the original story by Carlo Collodi. I didn't really enjoy that either.

Let's talk about some differences.

• Pinocchio kills Jiminy Cricket with a mallet in the original story. Jiminy also comes back to life with no explanation.
• Pinocchio is given several more opportunities to prove he is a good boy in the original story than the film. And always fails.
• Monstro is a shark not a whale
• Figaro and Cleo are not in it.

Pinocchio in general is just a creepy concept. A puppet that comes to life. I mean dress it up all you want to with fairies, a magic cricket, and wishing on stars but that is a terrifying concept. Did anyone else see Chuckie? Or those creepy episodes of Family Matters where Urkel's doll comes to life? A walking, talking puppet is just plain frightening.

Now as a character I can appreciate the fact that Pinocchio at least has somewhere to go. He doesn't understand the basic difference between right and wrong. He needs to learn and understand how to be good, truthful and unselfish. This at least is more of a character arc than Disney's previous protagonist Snow White. However, in the book Pinocchio is given so many second chances to be good that I really had lost any enthusiasm to root for him. 

The best part of the Disney version for me was the addition of Figaro and Cleo. These two characters actually helped make Gipedo much more likable and understandable. In the original story it seemed very strange to me that this old wood carver would suddenly want a wooden son. But the fact that he already has pets that he cares for in the Disney version helped make him appear more as a kind grandfather figure rather than  some creepy guy who suddenly has an attachment to a wooden object resembling a young boy. Also Figaro and Cleo are pretty darn cute.

Oh and I feel I should point out that in the original story how Pinocchio came to be Pinocchio was a little different. In the Disney version Gipedo makes a puppet, wishes upon a star for him to be real and the Blue Fairy comes down and gives him life. In the book this other character has a piece of pine and keeps thinking that he hears it talking to him. It freaks him out so when Gipedo comes to his shop he sells Gipedo this piece of wood. Then Gipedo makes the puppet out of this pine and names him Pinocchio. And there he is. 

Now the Blue Fairy still comes into play in the original story and tells Pinocchio he has to be good. But the problem with the Disney version is the Blue Fairy created the life of Pinocchio. Why wouldn't she have just created a good boy? Why would she give Gipedo only half his wish? I guess she was giving Pinocchio the freedom to make his own choices. But still...

I feel compelled to add that the whole sequence of Pleasure Island of boys being turned into donkeys and shoved into crates and calling out for their moms gave me nightmares as a little kid. I don't understand how this film is revered as a classic for children. 

My rating of the film: 5/10.

Films in order of preference so far:

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

Pinocchio.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

I am embarking on a new writing assignment for myself. I've decided to watch every feature length Disney animated film. And write about it. And if the story isn't an original Disney story then I'm going to read the original source and talk about both. So here we go from the beginning...

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs...


The Disney version doesn't actually stray all that far from the original story. Some of the key differences for me were;

• The number of times the queen tried to kill Snow White
• The fact that the dwarfs had no names in Grimm
• The fact that the Prince never met Snow before she was poisoned in Grimm
• Grimm has no First Love's Kiss

And of course the film added a lot of it's own Disney flare. But those were the big ones for me. 

The main thing I noticed while I was re-watching Snow White (I have seen it before a long time ago. There are a few films on the list I've never seen which I feel will change how I feel about them since they are not part of my childhood memories.) was how long the film felt. The story in Grimm's took me less then ten mins to read. The film felt long,

The film had eight songs in it which according to IMDB had been dwindled down from over a dozen. And I've got to say for the most part I still love the music. As I was listening to it I realize I strongly associate the music from the film with going to Disneyland, particularly being in Fantasyland.  Hearing the songs immediately brought feelings of childhood nostalgia. 

That being said the film spent a lot of time showing life at the cottage with Snow White and the dwarfs. The amount of time spent on the dwarfs approaching her sleeping in the bed, the sequence where they are all washing up and the whole scene where they are playing music and dancing altogether felt very long. A little too long for me.

Frankly I'm surprised so much of the dwarfs were kept in the movie when the two other times the queen tries to kill Snow were cut. She goes to the cottage in multiple disguises tricking Snow into taking things like a suffocating bodice and a poisoned comb. Also if Snow was fourteen like she is supposed to be in the film that would make her a little gullible but in the book she was seven so I guess I can excuse it. I guess...

And in the book Snow never meets the Prince in the beginning of the story. After Snow is poisoned by the apple and placed in the glass coffin the dwarfs take turns keeping a vigil over her. The prince goes by and sees how beautiful she is and asks the dwarfs if he can take her (Weird right?). Then as the Prince's men are carrying the coffin one of them stumbles and a piece of the poisoned apple pops out of Snow's mouth and she wakes up. 

I definitely understand Disney changing the ending. Snow spitting out a piece of apple is not nearly as romantic as First Love Kiss breaking the spell of Sleeping Death. And I love the classic Disney usage of starting and ending the film with the opening and closing of a story book. And this being the first full length animated feature film I understand why this movie was such a big deal. 

But...

Snow White really should not be the main character. The Queen should be.

The Queen is the character that struggles with a fatal flaw; jealousy and insecurity. She can't stand the idea of anyone being prettier than her. She continually tries to kill Snow and eventually meets her own demise in her attempts. It's her character's journey that the viewers can get something out of. Snow White on the other hand is pretty. She wishes for a prince and she gets a prince. She doesn't have any character growth through the story. The only thing she does for herself is she cooks and cleans for the dwarfs in exchange for somewhere to live. Although the animals do like 90% of the cleaning so I'm not sure that even counts as her doing anything. 

I've never really understood the appeal of Snow White as a princess to be admired. Not that there's anything particularly wrong with her but I guess I just don't see what all the fuss is about. She's pretty, she sings and she seems sweet. That's fine. Nothing to condemn but nothing to really admire either.

I guess I wouldn't place Snow White very high on my list of favorite Disney films. Though I definitely enjoy the feeling I get when I here the music from the film.

My rating of the film: 6/10.

Writing for Dummies

You can't call yourself a writer if you don't write.

I was cleaning up my room at my parents house a couple of weeks ago. I came across an old class folder from UCI. It was a folder for a class called How to Succeed in Show Business. At least I think that was the title. Something along those lines. But it wasn't just for people who wanted to go into show business. It was basically a "you're almost out of college here are some things you should know and do to be successful" kind of class. You get me?

I went through the folder. We had been given an assignment where we were basically given a bunch of questions about our life goals and ambitions. We answered where we expected to be in three, five and ten years. FYI it's been over six years since the class. And yes a lot of my expectations have definitely not come to pass. But that's okay. Dreams change. Goals get readjusted. What we wanted six years ago definitely may not be what we want today. That's not the point.

The point is I wrote. I mean my answers went on and on. I had some of the loftiest ambitions you ever heard of. Of course not everything I mapped out for my life would have gone to plan. But I didn't care. My answers were extensive. I wanted this and that and this and that. I was going to accomplish every single goal I had and I was going to impress the hell out of everyone.

When I was in college and high school I was never busy enough. I took on every responsibility I could. I was never not working a show, or working a part time job, or signing up for five courses only two of which I probably needed to take. If there was a leadership position to be had I went for it. If the teacher I needed to impress needed a volunteer there I was. It didn't matter what was on my plate. I piled on.

Now I'm not saying I was always successful at everything I did. Most of the time I was lucky to meet a deadline and no I did not pass every single class I took. Usually I took on way too much. I didn't know how to be honest with myself about what I could and couldn't handle. It was hard for me to ever say "No I can't." It just wasn't in me.

These days I have the opposite problem.

I want to be a writer. I know this to be true. But I don't make it a priority. It's way too easy for me to say "But I should really get this or that done." This blog entry I'm writing right now is the most I've written in one sitting all year. Maybe longer than that.

I'm scared. Terrified. I'm scared I'll get part way through writing a story, decide I don't like what I have, and give up. I'm scared nothing will be good enough. I'm simply scared to start.

I've been talking a lot about going to school. First for library science. Then for teaching. But the truth is I don't want to be a librarian or a teacher. Not that those aren't great jobs. It's just not what I want.

And I'm scared that even if I do get myself in gear and start writing it's still a long and uncertain path. And I'm impatient with how little of an adult I actually feel like. I want to be self sufficient. And I so am not.

And no matter how I look at it taking time to write feels selfish. Because it's going to be a long long time (if ever) before I'm paid to write. So it's taking time out of the day just for me that has no guarantee of going anywhere. And I know that everyone in my life will say "It's not selfish. Go and write." But they aren't in my head. I am.

The person I was six years ago had a lot of ideas about how her professional life would go. And while there were a lot unrealistic and naive expectations I want that fearlessness back. I want that crazy ambitious drive back. These days I could not tell you how many hours are spent on Netflix, scrolling through Facebook, playing video games, etc. So much wasted time.

I want to be busy. Busy with things that will propel me forward. I want my plate to be full again. Full of the kind of things that I can look back on at the end of the day and feel like I'm really working towards something. I want to stop stopping myself.

I don't just want to be a writer. I want to have the right to call myself a writer.

So in the spirit of my six year old college assignment here are some goals;

1) Tomorrow I will write again.

2) And the next day.

3) And the next day.

4) If 1-3 prove to be true I will add more goals.

Thanks for reading.
-Jen

A blustery day

It's been awhile...

It's been awhile since I've written in here. It's been awhile since I've written in general. I occasionally jot something down in my journal. But not much.

I reinstalled a calorie counter app I had. I've used this app on and off for the past five years. I would often record my current weight. For the first few years I gained a pound here and there but nothing extreme. Last year I gained twenty pounds.

I have yet to read a new book this year. I haven't even finished Harry Potter yet.

To say that I am disappointed in myself would be an under statement. I just don't know how to motivate myself.

Becoming a sub has been much more complicated than I thought. It's been over a month and I still haven't been board approved because...(insert long drawn out unfair story here)...I should be approved by the 3rd.

I need to feel motivated. I need to get myself in gear. I need free Star Bucks.

Tomorrow is a new day...

Marching On.

We are two months in to 2016. And I am...exhausted.

Getting into the why's and home come's isn't really what I want to be doing here. I'm just sort of checking in with myself.

I've been very good with the no alcohol. My goal was to wait until my birthday before I let myself have any and so far so good. Just one more month to go!

I've been pretty hot and cold about remembering to go for a walk every day. I started Daily Burn which is an online workout app that let's you stream work out videos to your TV. I like the videos and it seem like a good option for me. I just need to be a little more consistent.

I've been really bad about keeping up with my writing. I usually look back at my journal entries for the past month to sort of review how the month went. And I had barely any entries for February. I'm finding it harder and harder to stay positive and keep myself motivated.

But I have to remind myself that it's okay to falter a little. My biggest problem with keeping goals and resolutions is once I miss one goal or step I usually just throw in the towel. I need to be okay with not having a perfect streak or missing a small goal. So long as I don't give up on the big picture.

I'm really hoping that 2016 takes a turn for the better. And not just for myself. I know this year has already been a challenging one for multiple people I know. I feel like every where I turn someone I know is going through a hard time. I for one am ready for some positive change.